Who: Me and sporadically my mom

What: Super Bowl LII, Philadelphia Eagles v. New England Patriots

Where: My mom’s house

When: Sunday February 4th 2018 5pm CST

Why: No clue. Peer pressure? Because I’m a lemming?

Knitting Project: Emergency Nickel Cowl by Sunne Pollart Meyer Designs

Tonight is football LII (or 52 for those that struggle with Roman Numerals) and I am going to watch the whole game. Well, at least be in the same room as a tv showing the game with the sound on. Baby steps. But before I get going, let me start at the very beginning, such a very good place to start (thanks for the tip Fraulein Maria) with my telling you I have no actual interest in football–the rules, the rivalries, or the spectacle of the game itself. What I do care about are kneeling players and CTE brain damage, but that is a discussion for another time. If you’re looking for a nuanced recap of the game with some relevant or valid insight look elsewhere.

Taken without permission from Kelly Osborne’s social

Now that we’ve got the disclaimer out of the way, here are my live blogged thoughts so settle in:

• The Philadelphia Eagles come out and the crowd goes nuts while the New England Patriots, and I suspect specifically Tom Brady, are booed by the stadium. Not exactly sporting behavior.
• Leslie Odom Jr and a Philly kids choir come out to sing “America The Beautiful” and I’m not sure anyone but Hamilton fans actually knows who he is. It’s good but let’s get to Pink already.
• Pink! I love her so much and she has the flu and I’m so nervous for her. She spit out her cough drop and I’m blown away I don’t know what I was worried about. I’m not sure about this outfit but am in love with the earrings so Pink wins the Super Bowl.

• No players appear to be kneeling during the anthem. I don’t know if I’m relieved or disappointed.
• A coin flip to see who gets the ball first? What is this first grade? Why are there so many players there to supervise this? I guess it’s nice that they are having a Vet. do the honors.
• The Patriots win the coin toss. Riveting television.

Took a break to read reactions to Kylie Jenner’s baby announcement and re-watch her video. I am unreasonably emotional about this. Like, everyone knew she was pregnant but the confirmation and video after literally months of speculation were so well done. I’m so proud that the KardJenner’s managed to steal attention from the Super Bowl. Four for you Kris, four for you. #KrisJenner2020

Back to football:

• Looked up to see a discussion of if Tom Brady is wearing a bandage on his thumb. Fascinating.
• I only want to watch Olympics promos and ads forever. They’re so inspiring! Figure skating starts Thursday and the Opening Ceremony is Friday so come back to see my thoughts on that.

Took the dogs for a walk and forgot my gloves. Mistake.

• Did they just show a lesbian kiss in an Olympic ad? I can’t tell because everyone involved was so bundled up, but I hope so!
• Football has too much stopping and starting–just play!
• Peter Dinklage is rapping for Doritos? Now Morgan Freeman is there? I’d watch that buddy comedy.
• We have a J. Lo and A-Rod sighting!
• The cast of This Is Us is there for some reason but I love them so it’s okay.
• Stop trying to make me care about Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton.
• Bradley Cooper is there and every time they cut to him he seems to be loosing his mind. I like it.
• RAM is trying to sell me a car through the power of a Dr. Martin Luther King speech. It’s not working.
• Two college roommates are facing off against each other on opposing teams. That must be bittersweet and so surreal.
• The announcers are freaking out about some amazing play. I don’t understand what happened but figured you should know about it. Bradley looks appropriately psyched.

Feminist thought interruption: I like that NBC has a female sportscaster on the field doing interviews but why no women announcers?

And now for what I consider the main event: the Super Bowl Halftime Show

• Jimmy Fallon introduced Justin and I used to like there friendship but now find it really irritating.
• Where is he performing? Apparently under the stadium seats which they’ve turned into a nightclub. That’s cool I guess but it’s no jumping from the rafters a la Gaga.
• I hate his fringed leather jacket and camo pants.
• Why does his shirt look like an ad for Wyoming?
• What era are his dancers dressed for? His band looks straight out of the 1950’s.
• He just put on a matching camo jacket and I do not understand the sartorial direction he is going in please advise.
• Oh thank god Prince is here to save Justin from himself. I read that they scrapped the idea of a holograph Prince and I’m just as happy to see him projected on a giant piece of purple cloth.
• Awwww Minneapolis is now lit up in purple in honor of Prince and they digitally inserted his “artist formerly known as Prince” symbol on the city.
• Now Justin’s in the stands trailed by a female backup dancer who I now think is actually a bodyguard? Please let that be the case.
• He is trying to engage with a kid and it is not going well because that child does not remember when Justin was a thing.
• Oh good it’s over bye Justin.

No Janet (Ms. Jackson if you’re nasty) and no N’SYNC reunion even though that was never really a rumor. Why was that performance so lackluster? The guy can still dance and sing but the whole production felt half-assed in a way the last few years definitely have not. And someone please explain to me why they allowed him to dress like a lost hunter. Justin get back to the woods from whence you came.

Now that I’ve seen Pink and Justin (both in camo what does it mean?!!) what’s left to watch? Oh right the football game.

• Tide is winning the best commercials contest. Give whoever came up with the concept that all the commercials are actually Tide commercials a raise.
• Finally got a shot of Giselle Bundchen and she’s drinking wine/looking at her nails–her husband’s team is losing so, yeah that seems about right.
• The Eagles scored some points and then they scored some more so they won! Woohoo I guess!

The Philadelphia Eagles have beaten the New England Patriots and the Super Bowl is finally over. Gatorade has been poured on people, confetti has rained from the sky, and everyone is ready to turn off the tv. Except! This Is Us is airing a critical episode tonight. Why would they do this to me? I just can’t fathom dragging myself through that emotional minefield now so it must wait for tomorrow. Give yourself a round of applause if you made it to the end of this post. As a reward I leave you with this: