Bonding isn’t for everyone: Seeking Sister Wife 1×6 “Blast From The Past”

Are you tired of polygamists yet? If so don’t worry, Saturday’s post will be the season finale of This Is Us and so far there are no polygamists on that show.

Who: Just me

What: Seeking Sister Wife Season 1 Episode 6 “Blast From The Past”

Where: My apartment

When: March 27th 2018

Why: I want to see if Angela murders April

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If Ashley wasn’t married with two kids I’d suggest she get a cat. Credit: TLC

We begin at the Snowden’s and Ashley is Skyping her sister to give her the low down on Jocelyn and why that didn’t work out. The short answer is that Jocelyn slept with Dimitri and then lied about it by omission. Her sister thinks that it’s time to stop looking for a sister wife, but Ashley’s not ready to give up. She asks her sister if she’d give up on dating monogamously if she had several bad experiences, and that’s true she probably wouldn’t. Her sister jokingly suggests going through her phone book and seeing if there’s anyone listed there that she could envision joining her family and we can almost see the lightbulb go off in Ashley’s head.

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Aw that’s nice go do that off my screen. Credit: TLC

On to the Alldrege’s and Vanessa (wife #1) is headed home after her surgery to remove a Molar pregnancy. The procedure went well, but now she has to come to grips with the fact that she’s not having a baby. Sharis (wife #2) has been looking after the seven kids by herself and seems relieved to see Vanessa and Drew back, not just because she’s not the sole responsible adult anymore, but it appears she actually likes her sister wife. Weirdos.

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It doesn’t help that April looks like an evil witch in this shot (which is why I screen grabbed it). Credit: TLC

The Briney’s are still in Uinita National Forest trying not to kill each other or “accidentally” feed someone to a bear. Angela (wife #3) has shown up later than everyone else and has nowhere to put her tent, so Auralee (wife #2) invites her to share hers. Sharing is indeed caring. There’s some tense words over who will cook the steaks vs prepare them before Angela goes off to feed her one biological kid, Lenny. This annoys April because she feels Angela uses Lenny as an excuse not to participate in family life (which I think is actually pretty true but I say Angela you wring every drop of alone time out of that baby as you can). Angela says the reason she isolates herself is that she’s not as good as Auralee at pretending everything is fine, or that the family wants more from her than she feels she can give. While I feel like Angela knew conceptually what she was getting into by marrying Drew, reality has really knocked her out.

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Hahahah eight kids. Hahahaha. Credit: TLC

Back in Atlanta with the Snowden’s and Ashley is pondering her sister’s words and thinks maybe she’s right. We see her scrolling in her phone before pausing at a name. Apparently TLC expects us to believe this is a candid moment and that Ashley was literally stopped in her tracks by a contact instead of the setup it so clearly is. Ashley shows Dimitri a picture of Jakira, who she’s known for a while but only communicated with online (friendship in the digital age), and thinks she might be a good fit. Dimitri’s like yeah maybe before Ashley tells him P.S. she has five children which would bring their household total to eight in one fell swoop. Dimitri wants a big family, so that’s a plus, but it would be a huge change. They decide that Ashley should reach out to Jakira to see if she’s even interested in their lifestyle before they get their hopes up. Bets on whether she is?

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Goodness greatness great balls of fire. Credit: TLC

The Briney’s are STILL camping–it’s only overnight but I feel like they’ve been there for weeks. Drew juggles some balls which are actually on fire (impressive) and I feel like that’s a pretty apt metaphor for his marriages. The kids go off to get ready for bed (by themselves? In the woods? Seems the opposite of safe) and the adults stay around the campfire listening to April spout platitudes about families. Auralee agrees with her and they do a little hug. Aw everyone’s getting along so nic–oh shit April just said she doesn’t see Auralee demonstrating her passion and love for the family. This is some toxic nonsense if I’ve ever seen it. April basically says that when Auralee is mad she’s not committed to the family, and Auralee says clearly she is since she’s put up with April for twelve years. Touché. Angela wisely sits there in silence while Drew does the bare minimum to referee this fight. We get a voiceover from Angela wondering if they should all be living together and I have a feeling we’ll be addressing that issue again before the end of the episode.

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He’s seen this show. Credit: TLC

Vanessa and Sharis are doing an art project with the kids when…Melina calls! Quick refresher: Melina’s the potential sister wife that stood them up at the airport. Sharis’s voice goes at least two octaves higher while talking to her on the phone which is sort of sweet. Melina apologizes for not showing up and her excuse is she just freaked out. Now, she feels ready to come meet them if they’re open to it. Sharis gets off the phone and has a chat with Jeff and Vanessa to talk about whether they’re still interested in her as a potential sister wife. Vanessa doesn’t seem on board with having her come out, Jeff looks torn, and Sharis is acting like Melina’s advocate. Poor Sharis you can tell she fell right back into that hopeful mindset from before and really wants this to work out.

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Um, like, sister wives? Credit: TLC

Things are moving quickly over at the Snowden’s and Ashley and Dimitri are talking to Jakira on video chat. She asks how they came to be interested in polygamy and we learn that Ashley took an anthropology course in school prior to meeting Dimitri and it sparked her interest. Soon after meeting him he said he wanted to practice it and she was game. As for Jakira’s participation, she likes the tribal/community aspect of it views the lifestyle as just another form of family. She home schools all five of her kids ranging in age from thirteen to one and Ashley home schools her two young kids so they have a lot of things in common besides an interest in plural families. They talk about how important their bond as sister wives would have to be, and it seems Ashley is super on-board the Jakira train. Dimitri just keeps repeating that he feels it’s momentous that Ashley actually suggested someone, instead of saying if he likes her. Hmm I’d say he’s at the station but hasn’t bought a ticket.

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Yeah because she already hates you for not showing up. Credit: TLC

After an indeterminable time has passed, we find Sharis headed to dinner with Melina alone. Will she stand her up again? Come on of course not but for drama we get a shot of Sharis sitting at a table by herself. They meet and Melina tells her that while she feels they have a connection, she doesn’t feel that way about either Vanessa or Jeff, which freaked her out. Ok but I’m still side-eyeing the fact that she just didn’t show up and then didn’t call for ages afterward. Also, what changed? It’s not like either Vanessa or Jeff tried to contact her after she didn’t show up, so why is the disconnection less of a problem now? I don’t know about this. Sharis gives excuses for Vanessa non involvement (she was dealing with a Molar pregnancy that made her really sick) and says that not having a bond with everyone is to be expected. Sure Vanessa was sick but she really didn’t seem excited about Melina in any sense and maybe it’s good she picked up on that. Regardless, it seems like Sharis is in a hurry to put this behind them and move forward with a lunch for all four of them the following day.

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Very perceptive. I wonder what tipped them off? I’m going to guess it was that one man, several women, and lots of kids were living in the same house. Credit: TLC

We get a shot of he Briney’s finally back home, but still outside in the backyard, with Auralee and Angela reading to the kids and sitting separately from April. They all talk about putting the kids first and working to make sure they can’t sense any tension, but come on, the kids have eyes. Drew gets them inside for an adult family meeting because someone called their landlord saying they think the family is polygamist. Huh turns out the neighbors also have eyes and their cover story of wife, visiting aunt, and babysitter wasn’t believable. The problem is that living as a polygamist family is a felony in Utah, and all four of them could go to jail. The solution is to avoid a criminal investigation and move out-of-state as quickly as possible. By the way, this is what Kody Brown and his family did on their show Sister Wives. Drew says he knew the show would bring attention to the family, but he didn’t expect to have to make these decisions so soon, especially since it hasn’t even aired yet. Angela’s all for getting out of dodge ASAP as is Auralee even though her family is in Utah and she’s reluctant to move away from them. April wants to put making a decision off as long as possible because she doesn’t want to deal with the annoyance of moving. Ugh April why are you the worst.

For once, we didn’t end on Vanessa or her health issues! What a milestone for the show. There’s been no real character development but we have been reminded that April is awful, Sharis is a committed optimist, and Ashley thinks her husband dating her friend is a good idea. Yeah no. The next episode is the last of this season and here’s hoping is ends with a bang.

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