Aaaaaaaand we’re back!

Who: Just me

What: Sister Wives Season 12 Episode 12 “Meeting Mariah’s Girlfriend Part 2”

Where: My couch

When: Sunday May 27th (originally aired ages ago)

Why: Don’t even know

This was such a boring episode so I presume this post will be short and sweet. Or, at least by my standards.

We pick up at Meri (wife #1) and Janelle’s (wife #2) therapy appointment–some background: these two women have had a very turbulent relationship stemming all the way back to when it was just the three of them (Meri, Janelle, and Kody) living together. Janelle and Meri still have a rocky relationship but they’ve decided to work through their issues, which I guess is commendable. They both dread going to these meetings but Janelle goes so far as saying, and I quote, “I’m not a drinking person but I really think about having a drink before I go do these sessions”. Um that seems intense and like maybe this is not as productive an exercise as you’d hope.

The two women don’t speak or make eye contact in the waiting room, but don’t worry things only get weird from there. Meri brings up that in a recent interview, the interviewer asked Meri a question and Janelle answered instead. This hurt Meri’s feelings and she wants Janelle to apologize. Janelle claims that 1) the interviewer was asking all the adults not just Meri the question so she doesn’t feel like she stepped on her toes and 2) it wouldn’t have bothered Meri if Robyn/Christine/Kody had answered back, the problem is that she (Janelle) responded and Meri is always irritated with her. Janelle is very intuitive and I think that’s exactly what happened. Meri gets flustered and her eyes are all teary so the therapist jumps in and says that Meri’s aggression is how she behaves when she feels defensive, while conversely Janelle withdraws and shuts down. Ideally, if they know this about each other they can be aware of what’s happening and why the other person is responding that way. Their minds are blown while mine is just wondering how we’re only six minutes into the episode. We then get this amazing response from Janelle when asked if she thought Meri was out to get her:

The side-eye is spectacular. In the end, the two women promise to try and vocalize their behavior while on the D.C. trip/Women’s March with Mariah as an exercise in communication. They’re both nervous about this and I am too.

It’s however many days later and Meri is making breakfast for Mariah and Mariah’s friends who are also going on the D.C. trip. Meri’s not sure how this whole marching thing is going to go and they reassure her that everyone will be together and it’ll be totally fun. Mariah’s a giggling mess and finally tells her mom that she’s been dating Audrey for three weeks. Three weeks and meeting the parents! This is why the following joke exists: what do lesbians bring on a second date? A U-Haul. *Badum-ksh*

All her parents are happy for her and that’s wonderful but happiness makes boring reality TV.

D.C. time! Janelle and Meri are separately packing up their things and are concerned about the safety of being in a big crowd. That’s fair but then Meri says this and I lose all my positive feelings:

Oh no is your Google broken? Maybe ask Siri, I bet she can tell you. (I literally just asked Siri and she brought me to www.womensmarch.com. SO. EASY.) The women keep repeating that they’re going “for Mariah” but I bet that would be more meaningful to her if they knew why SHE was going in the first place. Anyway, everyone gets to D.C. and at dinner the night before Janelle adorably can’t contain her excitement.

March time! TLC has decided to film only firetrucks, police officers, and A TANK to really set the mood at a nine on the hostile scale. Meri is very uncomfortable in the crowd and she and Janelle are surprised by the, let’s call it passion, on display.

In fairness, I don’t think Mariah really explained to her moms what the march would really be like–probably so that they’d actually show up, but still this was really shocking for them. A lot of signs featured female sex organs, crass language, and outright anger directed towards the government and specifically the president. I went with my mom to the one here in Chicago and loved all the signs but I could see how it’d be sensory overload. Meri and Janelle leave the group to go find a restroom and plan to be right back. Obviously they’ve never seen an episode of Scooby-Doo or literally any horror film because they don’t know that the number one rule is don’t split up the group. What actually happens is that it takes an hour and a half for them to locate a restroom, stand in line, use the restroom, and make it back to the group. In that amount of time other group members have split off and because of the crowd the girls are not where Meri and Janelle left them. Cell phones signals are not working because there are so many people jammed into a small space so everyone’s a bit flustered. In the end it turns out okay because the group is reunited and Meri even holds a “love is love” sign. Aww.

Janelle ruminates on the fact that she agrees with a lot of what was said at the march about women’s autonomy and rights, and that she probably is a feminist but doesn’t identify as one. That’s some pretty nuanced language parsing and the inner academic in me wants to write a thesis no one will read about what that statement means for feminism. Bring me the Foucault with a side of Judith Butler and Roxanne Gay STAT!

The good news, beyond discovering Janelle’s burgeoning feminist academic career, is that Meri and Janelle are both pleasantly surprised at how well they got along on the trip. Even with the stress of being in a big yelling crowd and separated from the group they managed to remain civil and verbally express to one another how they were feeling. My babies are all grown up and using their words! Janelle is so happy about this triumph while Meri seems more grounded about the reality of how much progress they’ve made.

All the girls go out to dinner and Meri manages to corral Mariah and her girlfriend Audrey away from the pack so she gets some one on two time with them. We get a whole flashback sequence of Meri talking about the man she assumed Mariah would marry and how once Mariah came out she had to let that dream die. I’ve read this is a common thing for parents of LGBTQIA kids, and as a non-parent I can’t really judge the validity of that statement, but I do think the way it’s shoehorned into the episode by TLC is forced and makes Meri seem more unsupportive than she actually is.

Wait was I just defending Meri? What’s in this water I’m drinking? Obviously too much Fluoride and other mind warping chemicals.

And that’s how the episode ends. Weird right? Well tune in next time because it looks like Kody and company are headed to Utah to protest the fact that polygamy is still a felony. Look at all these protests and people exercising their rights. Makes me want to go make a sign. To the craft store!